Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sorry I've been avoiding posting lately, the truth is though I've been avoiding life all together. About two weeks ago I started having problems with my friends that have just gotten to be too much. There just not there for me anymore, even the simplest things like going out somewhere and doing something fun or sending me a file seems to hard for all them. I love them to death but it feels like I'm worth nothing to them. It hurts even more becuase I honestly though that, for once I was actsually safe and could get through anything. Now I cant even get out of bed.

To make matters worse, I have that twilight worthy situation to deal with where I can come up with no conclusions. The only feeling I'm aware of is hurt and I guess shock that things will not change with a certain person. This is the worst feeling ever.

Honestly though, I've thought about it a lot and I think it really may be time for me to just completly move on again.. Find another school and figure out a new life without making the mistakes I made here. When I first moved here it was so good though, thoes first couple of months with the boyfriend I had and I always had plans. Its just so good when people don't know who you are or who you knew. I guess they just have a better way of caring about you then?

I really just don't know how to deal with life right now. My over sleeping problems are coming back terrible and I have absoultly no energy at all. I need some love right now. I just really, really do. Then again, I always seem to push away any guy who does so that is exactly why I need friends right now!

No comments: