Okay, so this is defiantly going to be part of my blogs most epic posts. So get ready!
The week of my sweet sixteen started in a crazy panic, with thousands of things to do, cheerleading to skip and a shit load of “HI, UM IM SORRY I WAS A BITCH TO YOU LAST YEAR CAN I COME TO YOUR PARTY?” messages from bateman kids, my sanity was pretty much gone. With my twin stuck in Toronto the last thing I needed was my stupid asshole of a father to out of the blue call my grandmother on Thursday and just make up BULLSHIT. He got her all upset and when I called him he told me I’m not allowed to come home?
So after telling each other to fuck off he hung up on me. Out of my 16 years of frustration I hopped on a go train and found my way to Toronto at 6 on a Thursday night but hey iv done random-er things. Ironically my twin was there and I spent a few hours with her blowing off steam.
Friday came and Liz got dropped off at my grandmas where my mom, surprisingly wasn’t being a douche. My father however, was now refusing to come to my birthday for the second year of my life. Thankfully iv decided josh is going to walk me down the isle on my wedding. I was really grateful my mom wasn’t being the shit bag my father can bring out In her. She was so frustrated with him being such a hoe she said that after this week she could possibly get a divorce (that would honestly, have been a better present then a car). So yeah, I kinda have a soft spot for my mom again.
I went through makeup and hair hell while all my friends started arriving and by around 4 some of the best quotes EVER started coming out of me and my best friends mouths. By the time Alexa showed up with my mom, I just stopped worring. Its like everytime I see her, Im back to that happy place where everything was okay. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had my best friends there and we were the people we were before.. Not this year when all the crap happened. Now here are some of the best quotes of the night!!!
Caitlin: “Does anyone know marcs number? We should invite him”
Me “*says number incredibly fast”
Jeremy “Oh lovely! Keely has pedophiles numbers memorized!
*two hours later*
Caitlin: “I want to feel blairs afro, is he coming”
Me “ OH MY GOD I THINK I ACTSUALLY HAVE HIS NUMBER MEMORZIED!”
Jeremy “Congrats! Finally you know some ones number who isn’t going to rape you”
Carlos : “Hey Jeremy. So after all these years iv heard a lot about you”
Jeremy: “Hey Carlos, iv seen pictures of you in a dress!”
me “ALEX YOU BOUGHT ANOTHER HAT!! YAY!!”
Alex “Actusally, sarah stole it back from me when you weren’t looking”
So, shit went down my bf had to leave because he brought his brother and his friends who didn’t want to be there *cough,toldhimnottobringfriendsforareasoncough* lmao. Kinda embarrassing but I knew id find a way to get out of that being a hugeee thing of the night (or atleast I tired)
But it was soo freaking weird because a. I didn’t get upset over it like I did when asshole didn’t come last year and b. I didn’t have a marc breakdown and c. I didn’t even have a panic attack?!
I swear to god, It was like magic! So I did what any normal girl would do, got my frustation out on the dance floor baby!!
AND THEN, THE BEST PART OF THE NIGHT HAPPENED!
THE FRIENDS SPEACHES LMFAO.
Some things just have to be recorded and shared on blogs. I cant possibly describe this but im putting my favourite quotes down from it.
“I dated Keely for a year and some, then I turned gay” By Jeremy
“Me and Keely Dated for a week and she didn’t even remember my name” By alex
“For this whole year, all iv had to put up with is hearing about.. ASSHOLE. YES, THE ASSHOLE. NO, NO THAT ONE. TRAILER PARK! TRAILER PARK!! YEAH THAT ONE!!” Sarah and somewhat Cait (ironically some people are just idiots and just couldn’t figure out who this was)
Alex: “Me and Keely dated like five times”
Me : “Oh you wish you were marc!”
“Oh keely oh keely, OH MARC OH MARC, OH BLAIR OH BLAIR” (Caitlin,josh, ivy, alexa, kerry / all of oh shiney)
((WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE DROPPED, HONESTLY IT GOES ON FOREVER LMFAO))
“Keely, we miss marc”
((I wonder if marc watches us on you tube still making fun of him and talking about how we miss him? Hmmm…))
Then I sung my song which I dedicated to everyone who had to put up with me and assholes shit last year with absoutly NO VOICE and then love you to death played an amazing amazing amazing set!
The rest of the night went on and it was amazingly fun after the speeches. I danced my ASS off with jer, alex, luke and ian as my main guys, started a pileup on the floor where everyone could see my sexy cupcake underwear that I wear for good luck sometimes and got told off by my mom for jumping on alex in frount of her and continuing to embrace her by grinding right there lmao. Poor thing.
The slow dancing was cute, looking over my shoulder at the couples though would make me laugh, crazy things happen at my parties. But I mean sure, there was some drama, something I wont mention (lmao), sarah and alex would have random 10 minuet freak outs and well, the bateman kids were being just that, bateman kids so I heard a lot of
“OH MY GOSH I LIKE HIM NOW, HELL NEVER LIKE ME IMMAGODIE”
Oh, and the fact my dancing made someone fall back in love with me and made me feel like the worlds biggest ass (like always). I don’t understand how when you reject someone they see the best in you but when your with someone all they see is the worst!!
My mother did make me laugh, she was shocked at how.. Frisky? Alex was for a hippy and told luke he was a good dancer. She also said that she didn’t know it was Luke until the end but then again, I didn’t exactly know she would remember luke?!
ALRIGHT, so now im going to bed I missed like 5943432 things but ill add them in tomorrow!