Monday, March 10, 2008

Okay, so i cant explain how sorry i am. I think about what i want to blog like everyday but literly never get the chance becasue well, when you wanna do something theres just never the time now is there?

So, i know your dying to hear about chicago in detail, I dont think your going to but ill post some videos of my cheerleading hotel madness. Any ways, heres my breif description. We got there, my friend who i thought was one of my best friends for the past few years says she cant come hang out that night. Okay, whatever i mean i have two other days and i'm sure she'll come. Yeah, this ended up happeneing everyday and for a friend i thought was SOO important i would have risked going to iraq for she didnt even bother calling. By the time i got home she saw my facebook status had changed to "I HATE CHICAGO PEOPLE BECUASE THERE DOUCHES" she got really mad in a comment saying "WHAT THE FUCK?".
Oh, sorry. I thought six years of friendship actusally meant soomething to you? Clearly it didnt.
Getting that over, "the boy" managed to not show up too. When my friends asked him why on facebook his reply was
....OKAY, WTF LOL. This, for some reason reminded me of the you touch my hands video and let to me laughing my ass off during awards.
Thankfully, him not showing up was the best thing i could have hoped for. Two weeks before that, it was the worst thing i could have thought of.
I'm glad things changed for the better, so, so glad.
As for the trip, it was stress, hell and we all got extremly sick. I even like got HORRIDLY sick on the bus back and just kept randomly crying out really loud in pain. (emberessing much?)
It was deffinatly one of my worst moments. I had to sit at the back of the bus on the floor beside the washroom becuause i was literly dying. Not fun.
Not to mention we all had colds and by sunday were sleeping in a hallway of the comp.
I grew really, really close to my cheer friends that weekend, so through all the hell im glad i gained something i really, really am happy about.
They make going to cheer alot easier even though im still not a fking top. (Im probly going to try out for a top at wolfpack this year sadly. Although i doubt ill make it)
So i'v been back spending days dreaming of my boyfriend and soaking up as much of the
"Thank god im happy for awhile" as i can, scared to death in a month i'll be a suicidal wreck.
Theres few things worse then falling in love.
Adrian really is amazing but i am A REALLY FUCKING GRUMPY PERSON WHEN I AM NOT WITH HIM.
Speaking of which, i'm going to his cottage today! I couldn't actusally convince my mom to let me go so i did what any non-comforming diva princesses would do and asked my grandma who actusally CARES about me and shes letting me go.
She did however, tell me i better come home pregnant as my mother would kill her. What bugs the shit out of me is, you can have sex anywhere! Trust me, I'v walked in on enough forest hookup's to know you dont need to go away to someones cottage to do so.
And speaking of my mom being a douche. Well she's back in her few month phase of being the evil wicked witch of the west. My parents finer points lately have been, not saying happy birthday to me and telling me
"We dont give a shit what you do, we dont want to watch you"
and refuseing to even pick me up at my cheerleading comp all on my birthday.
It fucking sucks that i would just kill to have my parents cheer and watch me and be proud of me like all the other parents and they never fucking will
and the fact the wont really fucks me up and becuase they dont care, ill never actusally be okay.
Fuck. I hate pretending to everyone im fine and perfect.
But speaking of my mother being a big fucking douche who doesnt know how to love shit, i found this interesting article about how when mothers are douches it leads to daughters cutting themself.
When my mother saw the cuts on my arm, her reaction was

So yeah adrian... i NEED to see him
I'm turning into a cranky, evil, side glancing person without him.
Wish me luck on the next few days
It should be interesting...
but seriously, if he doesnt stop fucking going away im going to up all night crying more then a few times.

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