Honestly, lately I’ve realised I’m pretty much still suck in like two years ago. My life literally has changed every bloody year drastically but it stayed the same for like two years which also happens to be two years ago. I don’t know how I got so used to everything back then, maybe because I had the same boyfriend, the same 20 year old stalker, the same group of friends outside of school, the same things to plan and sew and the same group of followers at school who killed to know what scandalous things I was up to on the weekend and what Stalker they could make fun of that week. My school was weird, not like a normal middle school. There were very few kids and lacking a selection of hot guys but still we had our in crowd. There was me the “Nice, Square Social Queen who was Outrageous in Non Typical Pre-Teen Ways” who looked out for everybody, would never be mean to a person no matter there status on the social ladder and just genuinely cared about everyone. I had more of a “square” imagine as I kept my personal life private and didn’t claim to go drinking every night. (Urgh, I swear I find it so trashy how everyone goes LETS GET DRUNK BECAUSE WERE PATETIC LOSERS, id much rather enjoy a glass of wine out for dinner. Kay Thanks.) The other Girl who reigned as a Queen however was the girl I tried to be best friends with some days ( as we were in grade 6) and would attempt to kill me the next. She may have found ways to make me feel like shit but secretly it was well known that I won all our battles. She was the biggest cake face to a point where she became the public face of to much make up in our school and wore eyeliner in a way, I could never master no matter how many times she attempted to teach me how to look like trash. Even though all the boys would continue to throw her in the top three (which I was also in!) she was known as the trashy slut while I was known as the nice girl you’d actually want to be in a relationship. I remember the day R, the top boy in our school who also happened to be a horny jackass told me that guys actually liked me while they hated her.
I miss the days we were friends, they were so fun yet she always had hidden intensions. She could never just be friends. Well in the end she ended up doing her step-brother and its been rumoured at over 3 high schools she’s on her second abortion. True or not, I’m sure in 10 years she wont be proud of who she was. She didn’t end up going to my high school and honestly until now iv really forgotten about her. She messaged me on face book a while back saying “Oh my god honey!! You’ve changed so much for the better!! I’ve changed a lot to!! I lost a lot of weight and have a boyfriend and everything!”
No actually you haven’t changed a bit. She ironically did this after she heard I had a radio interview. Guess who wants to be my friend now? Yeah and I remember what happened last time I fell for that and invited her to my birthday party where she did EVERYTHING in her power to make it not about me. To a point where when they tried to sing happy birthday she ran in without her top on and OH that stopped them!
I guess just lately I’ve found it really ironic that now that iv left my high school she decided to switch there. She’s friends with all the kids who were jealous of me or couldn’t handle the fact I’m not a Abercrombie whore. It just feels so weird knowing she’s walking the halls I so dramatically pranced around last year. I loved it there, I just don’t know if I truly belonged. The school fit with my outrageous fashion, my lack of not caring about academics and I really could get away with anything there but the negative attitude eventually got to me. Even though I had friends that accepted my crazy ways and were much like me they seemed to have their own agendas at the same time in a way where I knew I could never find the strong friendships I wanted so bad. I guess I’ve just been wondering, can she fit in? Will she be happy there? Even though all she’s ever done is try to bring people down will she get the happy ending. I guess I just feel like after everything I shouldn’t have had to move and switch schools to win this war when she gets what I had but in the way I wish I had had it.